Esquire has a funny little piece with Jennifer Love Hewitt, of The Ghost Whisperer fame, and the Jezebels have run with it. In the article, she offers to Esquire readers ten things that men don't know about women. Jezebel figures the (many) men in her life probably correspond to each tidbit of advice she dishes. They're probably right! If we had more time we'd like to make a family tree of all the men she's dated! It would take us like days just to document her Party of Five years! [Esquire, by way of Jezebel]
Thing You Don't Know About Women #1: "PMS is not a lame excuse to be able to yell at you. It's a great excuse."
Who It's About: John Mayer. Wouldn't you want an excuse to yell at him, too?
Thing You Don't Know About Women #2: "We really can pump our own gas. It's just that we've got this fantasy of you as a '30s-era full-service station attendant. You'd look so cute in the hat."
Who It's About: Patrick Wilson. He would look cute in any hat. Or without any hat. Or without any clothes...
Thing You Don't Know About Women #3: "We're not complimented when you call your ex a slut. She dated you, too. So what are we?"
Who It's About: Carson Daly. He was engaged to Tara Reid. Nuff said!
Thing You Don't Know About Women #4: "We're smart enough to know that smell is always the dog."
Who It's About: Craig Ferguson. He looks gassy.
Thing You Don't Know About Women #5: "Yes, we can dish it out."
Who It's About: Wilmer Valderrama. He was probably skeezing on other starlets all the time (see Lohan, Lindsay; Moore, Mandy) and deserved a stern talking to.
Thing You Don't Know About Women #6: "No, we can't take it."
Who It's About: Wilmer again. Bet he has a sass mouth.
Thing You Don't Know About Women #7: "We want to raise children. We just don't want you to be one of them."
Who It's About: LFO's Rich Cronin, solely because he was behind the lyrics: "New Kids On The Block, had a bunch of hits/ Chinese food makes me sick." Those had to be written by someone with the mentality of a seven year old.
Thing You Don't Know About Women #8: Women are meant to talk and men to listen. We don't want to be fixed; we want to be heard.
Who It's About: Kip Pardue. The insouciant smirk always plastered to his face makes us think he wouldn't be the best listener.
Thing You Don't Know About Women #9: "When we ask if you've had any work done, it's because we want to know what our kids will really look like."
Who It's About: Carson Daly. Have you seen his face recently? He looks like an entirely different person.
Thing You Don't Know About Women #10: "When we ask you how we look, it's okay to lie; when we ask you how she looks, you better lie."
Who It's About: Ross McCall. This is advice he should keep with him for the future.
Comments (24)
the most useless info ever. get a life people
Posted by johnny doodable | January 25, 2008 3:00 AM
Posted on January 25, 2008 03:00
Wow!! I guess besides good looks she had spunk , independence and a brain. Not afarid to say what she feels.
Loved it , it was so true!!!
Posted by kathy | January 25, 2008 9:21 AM
Posted on January 25, 2008 09:21
Who is this person? Why does her opinion matter? OK, so she won the genetic lottery and is sort of cute, but would we care what she says if she were a waitress? Or a teacher?
Who cares about these so-called celebrities? And what kind of idiots pay attention to the whims and silliness of these temporary celebrities.
Come on, people... save your idolatry for someone who really does something rare and wonderful!
How about the guy who light himself on fire to protest the Republican War? Or Cindy Sheehan? These are people sacrificing to make all our lives better.
But bubble-headed bleach blondes? Who cares?
Posted by Cult of Celebrity | January 25, 2008 10:08 AM
Posted on January 25, 2008 10:08
I knew that...but maybe it's just that I've been paying attention :P
Posted by bz | January 25, 2008 11:42 AM
Posted on January 25, 2008 11:42
If we tell U that U look good then U ask us again come on what do U think & we still tell U that U look good to me that means U dont believe us the first time. If U have to ask twice & U get the same answer then U give a look of disbelive dont U think that annoys us ? !
Posted by Teddy Bear | January 25, 2008 1:27 PM
Posted on January 25, 2008 13:27
She has the guts to tell it like it is and i applaud her for that. Love
her show by the way.
Posted by sarah ballantyne | January 25, 2008 2:22 PM
Posted on January 25, 2008 14:22
Hey Cult of C,
Cindy Sheehan? Come on!!! She's a pawn and you know it. Her poor son is spinning like a top at how she has desecrated his memory. Can you say voluntary service?!! And Excuse me but "republican War" did you get that from a text book, brainiac?
By the way I believe it was a MONK!!
If you have time to visit this site- maybe you care more than you should.
Posted by Enough already | January 25, 2008 3:16 PM
Posted on January 25, 2008 15:16
I am embarrased I clicked on this.
Posted by Spunky | January 25, 2008 4:19 PM
Posted on January 25, 2008 16:19
Spunky, I am too!! HA!
Posted by Katty | January 25, 2008 4:40 PM
Posted on January 25, 2008 16:40
This female is not a woman. She's a kid.
Posted by Anonymous | January 25, 2008 4:52 PM
Posted on January 25, 2008 16:52
It's called "humor", people...of which she is showing her sense.
get over it.
Posted by AlzoAnonymouz | January 25, 2008 5:34 PM
Posted on January 25, 2008 17:34
All I can say is, bomb Hollywood.
Posted by Steveed | January 25, 2008 6:54 PM
Posted on January 25, 2008 18:54
To Cult of C -
Enough already made a very good point earlier, you did click on the site and you obviously cared enough to read the entire article. The point is there are great people doing really important and courageous things out there today that will never be heard of as far as "celebrity" status goes, no one's saying there's not. While you choose to glorify people like Cindy Sheehan, who in my opinion is the worst excuse for a mother, citizen, and human being, there are 1000's of men and women over seas who are fighting for your right to do so, as well as Cindy's right to breath (I think that right should be revoked!). I think that you are forgetting about the fact that there are plenty of other places on the web and on the news to read about the type of topics that you are interested in, and no one made you come here.
The fact that these types of articles exist is perhaps to allow us to forget, for even a few minutes, all of the struggles and problems that we are having, like bills, jobs, society, and the war. That is the point, entertainment, something American's can't live without.
If you want to read about Cindy Sheehan and other morons like her (and there are plenty), I'm sure you can do that elsewhere quite easily. And btw, it's an AMERICAN War, not a Republican War, you live in America so support it!
Posted by MyMichele | January 25, 2008 7:11 PM
Posted on January 25, 2008 19:11
good advice i agree completly :) thanxs
Posted by raquel | January 25, 2008 8:20 PM
Posted on January 25, 2008 20:20
I think thats great she told it how it is...all true. especially us woman wanting to raise children just not our boyfriends.whom are soposed to be fathers and grown men, they just can't seen to act like it.
Posted by sybil philpot | January 25, 2008 8:30 PM
Posted on January 25, 2008 20:30
I can't beleive how mean all of you people are. She was just giving a funny comment, not making a statement to change the world....relax a little and if that doesnt help, take an enema! We still love you Jennifer!!!
Posted by sally | January 25, 2008 8:52 PM
Posted on January 25, 2008 20:52
MyMichele:
American war? Who started this war again? Oh, ya... the Bush administration and Republican Congress.... ya the war is so winnable and we should just keep feeding money and lives away for a cause that will bring us nothing except an ego boost to our country. Support? Support our dumb Washington officials who continue to boost our debt and send us down an economic toilet, owing money to countries like China and Saudi Arabia? With that in mind, I would hold my tongue if I were you.
Posted by george | January 25, 2008 9:17 PM
Posted on January 25, 2008 21:17
Lets here about those spectaclar JUGS.
Posted by Bonner | January 25, 2008 9:19 PM
Posted on January 25, 2008 21:19
CULT OF C ARE U IDEOT ? OR CLINTON PRO COMMYNIST LA LA LANDER ?
Posted by g roma | January 25, 2008 9:43 PM
Posted on January 25, 2008 21:43
to MyMichele--
u had me with u until the war part. i think we can all idolize whoever we want tho. I mean, our idols reflect ourselves, right? They reflect our values, our principles and our lives. So if someone idolizes Cindy Sheehan, let her! And if someone else doesn't, all it demonstrates is differenciating opinions. But honestly, guyz, there's so little time, it's not really worth being bothered by this. I admit fully that I am being silly by even bothering, but I felt like adding something ^_^
But about the war part--there's no telling people to or to not support the war. There's a difference between loving and appreciating our brave warriors, and rooting for the war. We've let ourselves become guilted into supporting the war! Is that how we want to make our major decisions? By manipulating people's minds? I will not put the blame on any party's shoulders, but remember guyz-- people r dying because our president can't stand up and say that he's screwed us up. people r suffering X 1000 because "we r america and we never surrender!" There's a HUGE difference between being unpatriotic and being intelligent. So wake up people! We don't want to be blinded by twisted, mangled words that change facts into empty promises.
Posted by zen master | January 25, 2008 9:45 PM
Posted on January 25, 2008 21:45
Cindy Sheehan or the guy who sets himself on FIRE?????? Your a NUT. What kind of people do you hang out with? Change friends,move next door to a fireman. By the way Jen is HOT and I don't mean on fire.
Posted by Rich017 | January 25, 2008 9:45 PM
Posted on January 25, 2008 21:45
THANKS MY MICHELE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FROM ALL OF US AMERICAN SOLDERS
Posted by G ROMA | January 25, 2008 9:53 PM
Posted on January 25, 2008 21:53
She's got moxy. You complainers need a life. Lighten up.
Get a life.
Posted by jhartmart | January 25, 2008 10:31 PM
Posted on January 25, 2008 22:31
I'm in with mymichele and enough already. Cult of c,pull the stick out of your a**. We all need a break from reality. I'm sure your one of those people who sits in front of the news all day, believing every bit of dribble poured down your throat. What, apparently, you don't know is that news stations only report what they think gains ratings. In this country, unfortunately, they often feel that bad news is more worthy of air time than good news. Alot of what goes on in Iraq is good. And if you were to ask the majority of those who have served there or are currently there they are proud to serve and don't want troops pulled until the job is done. There i've said my piece.
By the way cult of c remind me not to invite you to any parties. I'll bet your a real bummer.
Posted by weight watcher | January 25, 2008 11:23 PM
Posted on January 25, 2008 23:23